Friday, November 21, 2008

I swear, it was a squeaky door!

In May, our city offices were moved around due to some construction. I lucked out with to a sweet new office which shares a wall with the city attorneys office. See diagram.

Since moving to this office, I have had many embarrassing moments as a result of the door to the attorneys office making a very interesting noise when opening or closing. Outside my office, it sounds like a squeak. But through the wall, it sounds like the world's grossest fart.

Anyone who happens to be meeting with me when the misfortune squeak happens thinks that I have digestive issues and I get strange looks, even giggles. I have tried saying, "gosh that door is loud," which only results in my office guest thinking that I am a huge liar. I can see them trying not to breathe through their nose.

So today, while delivering a contract for review, the door made its ridiculous noise and, thinking I was alone with the admin person, I said "Did you know this door sounds like toots through our shared wall?" She asked me to repeat myself. I said, " this door sounds like toots through our shared wall. I often have guests think I let a giant one rip. I don't have a husband or dog to blame it on around here."

She started laughing. Then I heard from the head attorney's office, a loud male voice say, "sounds like that door needs some oil." I nearly died! I've never even spoken to our City Attorney and now he thinks I am fart obsessed. Great, just great. But, maybe it will get oiled finally and stop freaking people out.
The only problem with fixing the door is ...what will I blame my actual toots on? I won't have a husband, dog or door to blame!


zebe912 said...

OMG, I'm laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my face. I can totally hear you telling this story, so I'm dying.

Of course, I would have been the one to take my own can of teflon spray and oiled the thing myself.

The Food Librarian said...

LOL!!! I can just imagine all the looks you've been getting. What have you been eating at work?! :) Hope some WD-40 comes to your rescue.

Natalie said...

hahahaha -- you HATE body noises, how awkward for you! I'm glad you spoke up!

CB said...

I never got further in your post than the diagram of the "farting door". LOLOLOL.

Alanna said...

Oh, RP, I love you. You make me laugh. Farts are funny enough on their own, but your story is still making me laugh....